Fans Fear that Tom Brady’s Balls will Explode in Thursday’s Opener

By Jeff Phillippe    September 9, 2015


Gisele Bundchen begs her husband not to take the field if he feels too much ball pressure. (Photo Courtesy: New York Post)

New England heat wave might be too much for Brady’s balls

Foxborough, MA – Last winter we saw Tom Brady’s balls deflate to historic lows during the AFC Championship game. Just the opposite might occur as the Patriots open up against the Steelers on Thursday, amid a weeklong heat wave in Massachusetts. If temperature surges continue, it is expected that a massive explosion of Brady’s balls will occur within the first quarter. The force of the burst has yet to be accurately calculated and for safety reasons fans are advised to not attend the game.

Following the infamous “deflategate” controversy, Patriots brought in experts to explain that the deflation of Brady’s balls was “natural and not human-induced.”

Physics teacher and Bill Belichick’s college roommate, Art Leviman stated “It [the delfation] was all just a by-product of the Ideal Gas Law. A decrease in temperature causes a decrease in pressure. “

Many football fans however wonder why Brady’s balls deflate so much compared to other NFL quarterbacks amid the same conditions. “Truthfully, Brady’s balls are freaks of nature,” adds Leviman.

If the pressure of Brady’s balls is so abnormally dependent on temperature, then we could be in for quite a show during Thursday’s opener as the opposite reaction is expected to occur during hot weather.

However recent forecasts indicated an imminent storm on Thursday, which could cool Brady’s balls to more tolerable levels.


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